it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
