Heybabeimwearingurpanties
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
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