you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
