So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
