do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Blood and glitter go together right?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
