DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
