its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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