you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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