Where is the hickey?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I think I sprained my soul last night
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
