Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
