so that wasnt chicken after all
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
