Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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