508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
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