would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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