I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
