it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
