I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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