I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I love having hate sex.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
