omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize