Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
