She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
bring money and cleavage
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I need to calm my uterus...
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
