After last night, I could never be a politician.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Dicks are not precious.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
