whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
whose ass print is on the piano?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
