I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
