Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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