At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
