U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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