foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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