Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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