There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize
