i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
