quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
