So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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