i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I have demons in me.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
