You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
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I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
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some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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