i used baking grease as lip gloss
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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