Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Church boner. Awkwardddd
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
