yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
