he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
