He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I have already put on my inside pants.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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