Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
