I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
