Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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