I cockslap morals
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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