it wasn't lemon gatorade
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
