In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
