How'd it feel making her break her religion?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
