Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
