Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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