margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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