best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
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Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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