he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize