Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I need a burrito and a hug.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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