I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
