So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
