So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
