i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
