I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize