I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
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