So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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