I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
