im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
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