Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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