I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize